I thought I was better.
Its been a few weeks since I’ve seen my therapist. When I scheduled my appointment, I honestly thought about canceling the session because things have been going so well. I had been losing weight and exercising, doing things far out of my comfort zone, and feeling more confident about myself.
This week must be a sign that I should keep my upcoming appointment. I am struggling at work, and actually fear losing my job. I have not been sleeping well or eating well, and I haven’t had the energy to exercise. I even canceled walking with my walking buddy this week because I was so exhausted. Everything feels out of control. My first reaction is to eat a bunch of junk food and sleep all day. I know that will only make things worse.
Just in case, I started looking for jobs and it just made me even more sad. I don’t want to find a new job. I love my schedule and the fact that I can work remotely. Plus, all of the jobs posted were the same: either very low pay or required driving into the city, which I hate. I don’t feel like what I’m doing now is my dream job, so maybe this is a sign I need to start over. I have no idea what else I would like to do. And that makes me sad too.
Here’s hoping tomorrow will be better.
Until next time….