I Just Want to be Happy

I just want to be happy.  That’s my life goal.  The problem is, I don’t know how.  I have people in my life that love me.  I have a roof over my head.  I have a job.  I don’t understand why I’m not happy.  I’m just…not.

In retrospect, have I ever been happy?  I was an anxious child who had trouble making friends.  As a teenager I was incredibly depressed and isolated myself from others.  I suppose now as an adult not much has changed.

I just feel like things should be better, somehow.  Not in a materialistic way or anything.  I mean, I should feel better.  Does everyone feel like this?



Day #30

My 30 Day Challenge is complete!  Well, it was complete on Saturday, but I don’t blog on the weekends 🙂

Saturday was nice, actually.  My MIL came over for dinner and then we went to my sister’s house for a bonfire & some wine.  I showered, did my makeup, and got dressed in something other than my PJs.  Go me!

Now that my 30 days is over, I’m feeling like I can do lots more on top of what I’ve been doing.  My job is incredibly stressful right now, so I feel like I need to put my energy to good use instead of just worrying about work all the time.  This past month I have decluttered virtually every space in our home.  I donated boxes and bags to charity & the the animal shelter, and trashed the rest.  It is incredibly liberating.  I also found a company called Thread Up that will pay you for your unwanted brand name clothes, so I am planning on sending them some items that I can’t wear anymore.  Not expecting mega bucks or anything, but it would be nice to get something back for things I bought and then never wore.

I also have been making an Amazon wishlist of things I want (nice towels to replace the old ones I donated to the animal shelter, for example).  Since my birthday is in December, I’m hoping to get enough gift cards to get some things we actually do need.  I am also making an effort to put non-tangible or consumable items on my wishlist this year.  A gift certificate for a massage.  A nice bottle of red wine.  I’m all about gifts that aren’t going to collect dust 🙂

Another goal of mine is to stick to our monthly budget.  I recently started tracking our expenses and boy could they use some improvement.  We spend so much money on food and non-essentials!  I didn’t even realize.  It’s so important to write down where your money is going.  Once I had an idea of roughly how much our bills were each month, I budgeted certain amounts for other important categories, like health expenses and auto maintenance.  I also made sure to track how much we both were making each month so ensure I accounted for every single dollar.  Seeing where everything is going now, its easy for me to see that we were overspending.  Tomorrow I am going to attempt to call Comcast to get them to lower our bill.  Wish me luck!

Until next time…cheers 😉

Day #29

It’s day #29!  Almost finished with my 30 Day Challenge.  Today was much better than yesterday, although I worked my 10 hour shift with a headache all day.  I finished all of the laundry, washed and put away the dishes, and even made the bed.  I know it seems silly, but doing these tiny tasks really helps me build myself up when I feel like I don’t have much else.  I’m hoping I can convince my husband to watch some Halloween movies tonight since it is Friday the 13th 🙂  Halloween is one of my favorite holidays, and I have really been wanting to watch some classics.  Some of my favorites are Beetlejuice, The Addams Family, and Hocus Pocus.  My husband is a huge dork, so his favorite is Earnest Scared Stupid.  I guess we could just have a movie marathon and watch them all 🙂

Until next time…cheers 😉

Day #28

Today was a terrible day at work.  I can’t wait to just sink in bed and sleep it all away.  Some days I wish I could just pack up and go somewhere new and leave everything behind.  I guess that’s not very realistic.

Two days left of my 30 Day Challenge.  I was able to accomplish a few things today, at least.  I made a big batch of waffles to freeze for easy breakfasts, did two loads of laundry, and put the donations outside for the charity to pick up in the morning.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

Until next time…cheers 😉


Day #22-27

I have a lot to catch up on!  I was out of town for a few days for my Father-in-Law’s wedding, but I didn’t forget about my 30 Day Challenge 🙂

Day 22 – I worked my normal 10 hour shift and did some last minute packing for our trip.  I also showered and did laundry.

Day 23 – Saturday we left for FL.  It was a lengthy 9.5 hour drive that I am so glad is over! We arrived at about 7:30 PM and spent time with my husband’s family before we collapsed in our hotel.  I showered, did my hair & makeup (which melted right off in the FL humidity!)

Day 24 – We had brunch with the bride and groom to be, along with lots of family members.  Afterwards we went exploring in downtown St. Augustine, which was fun.  Again, the humidity was brutal!!!! I took two showers and did my makeup and hair TWICE.  Thanks a lot, Florida.

Day 25 – We packed up and headed back home 🙂  The drive back wasn’t nearly as bad, but we were so glad to be back home.  I had a terrible headache so napped on and off for the remainder of the day.

Day 26 – I took the day off, just because I know myself well enough to know I would need a day to recharge my batteries.  I started laundry, unpacked my suitcase, and worked more on de-cluttering our home.

Day 27 – Back to work.  SO MANY EMAILS.  I am finally caught up, but it took nearly all day to get all of my emails read, replied to, and filed away.  Before work I got up and went through our attic (I know, I’m crazy) to see if there was anything I could toss in our donate pile.  There were a few things, but I mostly just re-organized everything and labeled our plastic bins so things are easier to find when we need them.  I condensed everything into 2 keepsake bins each for myself and my husband, which I think is pretty good!  Certainly better than where we started 🙂 I also walked on the treadmill for about 20 minutes, cleaned the litter box, and took out the trash.  Yeah!!!

Only 3 more days left of the 30 Day Challenge 🙂  I am thinking about making my next 30 days all about exercise since I have really slipped up lately.  I need motivation, and blogging keeps me accountable 🙂

Until next time…cheers 😉

Day #21

Its day 21 of my 30 Day Challenge!  I was able to complete a few things around the house today: I took out the trash, ran the dishwasher, washed the dishes in the sink, and put some of the items I’m needing to donate in the garage.  I also set up a time for the donation center to come to my house and pick up our unwanted items.  I didn’t realize I could do that, but it seems extremely handy!  I didn’t get to the laundry today, but it’s on my list for tomorrow.  In the morning I have my make-up hair appointment and it is much needed.  Normally I’m fine to let it go to save some money, but since we have the wedding on Sunday, I felt like I needed to just go ahead and do it.  I’m going to be touching up my color and trimming my layers back up.

Since I have to get up early tomorrow, hopefully my sleep schedule will get back on track.  I have been so exhausted lately.  I work until 11 pm and usually fall asleep at 2 am.  Then I get up at 9 am to start my day, but most days I feel like I need to take a nap just to get through the day.  Today I tried really hard not to, but I ended up napping for an hour before work instead of doing the laundry.  Better luck tomorrow, I suppose.

Until next time…cheers 😉

Day #17- 20

Day 17 – Saturday was super fun!  I was at my friend’s house for the weekend, and we went to an art exhibit, a brewery, and out to eat.  I met several new people too 🙂  I could tell my anxiety is better than it has been since I didn’t obsess over the social aspect of the trip.  I may have even met some new friends, which is a plus!

Day 18 – Sunday was a lazy day.  I was hungover from the night before, so I didn’t shower or do much of anything.  My friend drove us around and gave us a little tour of the city.  He grilled some delicious steaks for dinner, along with some asparagus.  I got home around 11:30 PM, so I just crashed when I finally got to lay down in my bed.

Day 19 – Monday was my day off, and I had planned on getting my hair done (finally).  Unfortunately my hair lady was sick, so I had to reschedule.  I also took the cat to the vet for her routine checkup and everything came back fine.  I went on a bit of a decluttering spiral since I didn’t have anything else to do.  Then I prepped my meals for the week and relaxed the rest of the evening.

Day 20 – Only 10 days left of my 30 Day Challenge!  I think it has gone very well.  Today it was back to work, and it was a pretty busy day overall.  I was able to take care of myself by showering and brushing my teeth.  I also cleaned out the guest room closet and put some of the things I am donating in bags and in the car.  Next step is to actually donate everything!  I think I’m going to donate the old towels and blankets to the animal shelter, along with some old food bowls our kitties don’t use anymore.  Old housewares & clothes will probably go to the local women’s shelter, if they are accepting donations.  I need to get our laundry done tomorrow.  We are leaving for the beach on Saturday for a wedding 🙂

Anyway, until next time…cheers 😉

Day #16

It’s finally Friday!!! I completed a lot today, including packing for my trip, doing the dishes, and watering the flowers outside.  I’m excited to be going on a little mini-vacation, even just for 2 days.  I’m heading out tonight after work 🙂  I’ll also be meeting some new people (roommates and other friends that live nearby) so I’m a little nervous.  I know it will be fine, but I always get a little anxious before I meet new people.  I don’t have any friends (unless you count my husband or my family??) and its really hard for me to connect with new people.  I’m trying to put myself out there though 🙂  I typically clam up around new people or just say what I think they want to hear because I’m too chicken to be myself.  I’m trying very hard this year to change that.  Making friends as an adult is truly hard work!  Between work, marriage, and kids, how do people form valuable friendships at this age?  Challenge accepted 😉

Until next time…cheers 😉

Day #15

I’m at the halfway mark!  So far the 30 Day Challenge is going well.  Every day (so far) I have been able to accomplish my goal.  Today I had lunch with my boss and two co-workers for the first time.  It was a little awkward at first, but overall it was very positive.  I ended up wearing something similar to my co-worker, so I don’t feel like I was underdressed.  Since I was meeting with them today, I did get ready by having a shower, brushing teeth, flossing, using mouthwash, using lotion, doing my hair, doing my makeup, and getting dressed (not in yoga pants).  I also put away the laundry and cleaned the litter box when I got home.  Go me!  I still need to pack for the weekend, but at least I know all of my laundry is done 🙂

Until next time…cheers 😉

Day #14

Woke up this morning around 3:45 am with a terrible headache.  I took some allergy meds and woke up and my headache was finally gone!! Since I felt like crap I slept until I had to go to work, so I haven’t been able to accomplish as much as I wanted today.  I did a few loads of laundry and put away the dishes at least.  I also showered, brushed my teeth, flossed, used mouthwash, and put on lotion.  Oh, and I painted my toenails.  🙂

Tomorrow I have a work lunch with my boss and two other co-workers, so I’m a little nervous.  I have no idea what to wear (I work from home) and its supposed to be 81 degrees tomorrow.  So…black skinny jeans with a classy top with some strappy sandals maybe? I wish I knew what they were wearing.  I don’t want to appear overdressed.  I suppose it would be worse if I were underdressed.  Definitely not wearing my holey jeans 🙂

Anyway, I’m pretty excited about this weekend because I’m going to Alabama to visit a friend!  He bought a house recently, so I am excited to get to see it and hang out there for a few days.  I will keep up my 30 Day Challenge while I’m away, of course.  🙂

Until next time…cheers 😉