Day #8

Wow, it’s already Thursday.  This week has flown by!  I have done a lot today.  I worked a 10 hour shift and made sure to get my 3 healthy meals (plus a snack!).  I was able clean the master bedroom, which was looking pretty rough.  I vacuumed the carpet and baseboards, dusted the furniture, washed the sheets and blankets on the bed, and put away the laundry.  I also unloaded the dishwasher, cleaned the kitchen counters & sink, and scrubbed the stove top.  I didn’t get to sweep or clean the kitchen appliances, so I will try to do that tomorrow.  I also spray painted some mismatched flower pots (finally) that have been sitting in the garage for months.  I wanted them all to match, so I just bought a can of oil rubbed bronze spray paint 🙂  Maybe this weekend I can buy some mums and pumpkins to dress up the front porch for fall.

Tonight my husband comes home from travel all week, so I’m excited to get to see him.  I bet he will be happy the house is mostly clean in time for the birthday party we are hosting on Sunday!  My sister and brother-in-law both have September birthdays, so we are throwing a little get together for them 🙂 Luckily all I have left to do is clean the master bathroom, sweep & mop the floors, and finish up cleaning the kitchen appliances.  I still need to run to the grocery store to pick up a few things for the party and next week’s meal prep.  As long as we don’t totally destroy the house in the next two days we should be ready for the party, lol.

I’ve also been trying to slowly declutter our house.  My husband (bless him) is the spendy one in our marriage, so I am constantly decluttering while he adds to his hobby room.  Luckily he doesn’t overspend too much, but he gets a lot more joy out of things than I do. I have to give him credit, ever since we had to buy our (gently used) car a few months ago, he has really committed to trying to save money and get it paid off ASAP.  He has been much more receptive to selling items we no longer use and just getting junk out of the house.  That makes me happy 🙂

Anyway, I think the 30 day Challenge is going pretty well so far.  Hopefully I can keep up this pace!

Until next time…cheers 😉

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Day #7

Today I have accomplished quite a bit. I ate healthy meals. I also did the dishes, dusted the living room furniture, and vacuumed the living room carpet and baseboards. My brother-in-law’s birthday present arrived today so I wrapped it up in pretty wrapping paper. I changed the shower curtain liner and emptied the trash in the bathroom. I did the dishes and ran the dishwasher. I also took the trash can to the curb since tomorrow is trash day and got the mail for the first time all week. 

Oh, and I worked a ten hour shift 🙂 I guess you could say I’m feeling pretty good today. 

Until next time….cheers 🙂

Day #3-6

If you’re just now seeing this, I am in the beginnings of a 30 day challenge.  The challenge is to make myself complete 3 things for myself each day, for the sake of my mental health.  Here is my progress from the weekend to today:

Day #3 – Saturday was a great day.  I got dressed up and went to a movie with my husband to celebrate our anniversary.  Afterwards we had homemade lasagna, a garden salad, and garlic bread with red wine for dinner.  Although I wasn’t “productive” I still did things for myself, like showering, doing my hair, and my makeup.

Day #4 – Sunday I was pretty lazy, but I did manage to make myself do a few things so I didn’t feel too guilty.  I did the dishes, decluttered some of our kitchen items, and started to get my home gym in order.  No, I did not actually exercise, lol.

Day #5 – Monday was pretty busy.  It’s my day off, so I had errands to run.  My grandmother had hip replacement surgery a few weeks ago, so I had to go pick up her RX and take it to her.  After that I went home and cleaned the guest bathroom, the bonus room, and the two bedrooms upstairs.  I also meal prepped my meals for the work week.

Day #6 – Today I have a headache, so I have not done a lot.  Before work I just sat in bed and watched TV/browsed the internet.   Then of course it was time to go to work, so I did nothing productive before work today.  I was able to take a break and cook a package of turkey bacon I’ve been meaning to cook for a meal prep for this weekend.  I had hopes of cleaning downstairs today, but that just isn’t happening.  I also showered, brushed my teeth, flossed, used mouthwash, and put on lotion.  I’m hoping my headache goes away soon.

Until next time….

Cheers 😉

Day #2

So today was pretty good. I did three loads of laundry, put away the clean dishes, and started on a diy project I’ve been putting off for a while. I also made two homemade pizzas for the freezer. I guess I’ve been pretty productive 😀 My husband did some things around the house that I’ve been nagging him to do. We are having a get together at our house next weekend so I’ve been trying to make everything look nice. Sometimes that’s hard with our fixer upper! We are making progress though, and only have a few projects left. I know my husband is glad to hear that 😂

Until next time…

Cheers 😉

Day #1

Today makes the first day of my 30 day challenge.  In case you’re wondering, I am challenging myself to 30 days of accountability in taking charge of my mental health.  This includes things like basic self care: showering, brushing teeth, getting dressed, cleaning up my surroundings, etc.  My goal is to do at least 3 of those things every day.  The idea is that if I push myself to do things I don’t want to do, I will feel better after I complete the tasks.  I know the tasks seem easy, but if you have ever been depressed, you understand how lethargic you can feel.  When I’m at my worst, anything above getting out of bed seems like a major feat.

Today was good.  I woke up, had a good breakfast (waffles!) and went to work.  Later on I had a nice lunch and dinner.  I also showered, brushed and flossed my teeth, used mouthwash, washed my hair, and put on lotion.  I also did the dishes that had been piling up in the sink.  Also, my husband and I celebrated our 4 year wedding anniversary today, so I made him a funny card and got him a little present ❤  We aren’t doing anything special today since we both worked, but this weekend we are going to try to do something fun.

Tomorrow maybe I can accomplish even more.  The laundry is starting to pile up.  Hopefully I can get to that and even put it away.  (That’s always the hard part!)

Until next time…cheers 😉

30 Day Challenge

After seeing a therapist for several months, I started to feel better.  I had more energy, I was doing things out of my comfort zone, and I was slowing gaining some self confidence.  Then I got comfortable.  Complacent, even.  My old habits crept back into my life.  I noticed myself withdrawing.  Overeating.  Feeling tired all the time.  I felt terrible, emotionally and physically.  Something had to change.

I then made a list of all of the things that make me feel better.  Unfortunately, when you have zero energy, a lot of those things seem impossible.  I would spend my day laying in bed until I had to go to work.  Some days I wouldn’t shower or brush my hair.  I would eat processed junk because I didn’t feel like cooking.  How do you think I felt after 1 day of that behavior?  How about 7 days?  You’re right: I felt a million times worse.

It is a vicious cycle.  I feel like crap, I have no energy, and I stop taking care of myself.  Then I feel guilty because I let myself get so far off track that it seems impossible to climb my way back to where I was.  That has to change.  I believe it is necessary that I push myself each and every day to do some of the things that make me happy, even if I don’t want to do them.  For the next 30 days, I am going to be blogging my progress.  Each day, my goal is to do at least 3 things from the list below:

  • exercise
  • eat balanced meals
  • shower
  • brush floss & mouthwash
  • put on lotion
  • do my makeup
  • do my hair
  • wear real clothes (no pajamas)
  • do my nails
  • catch up with family
  • tidy up the house
  • meal prep
  • accomplish something I’ve been meaning to do

Today I didn’t do a lot, but I did manage to shower, brush and floss my teeth, use mouthwash, put on some lotion, and eat 3 nutritious meals.  Just those little things make me feel a tiny bit better.  Hopefully I can challenge myself into completing much more as time goes on 🙂

Wish me luck!

Until next time….cheers 😉

It’s a Good Day

Count your blessings.  Keep your chin up.  Look on the bright side.

It’s no secret that positive thinking is a powerful tool.  I try to keep this in mind when I encounter assholes at work or when I unexpectedly run out of coffee.  Whatever it is, in that moment, it isn’t the end of the world.

Sometimes positive thinking can seem like a lie.  That’s why I like “it isn’t the end of the world.”  It may NOT be a good day.  You may have crashed your car or gained 15 pounds since your last weigh in, but, hey, it isn’t the end of the world.  Or you could just remember the “but did you die?” meme.  Whatever works for you 🙂

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Honestly, I struggle the most with staying positive about myself.  Positive sayings directed toward my appearance definitely seem like lies to me.  No matter how many times I say to myself “your cellulite is beautiful,” it never seems to change how I really feel.  I guess if I keep saying good things about myself, maybe someday I will start to believe them.  I guess its better than the alternative.  It certainly doesn’t help to obsess or beat myself up about my own flaws.

Lately I’ve been very inspired with the body positive community.  I have been overweight my entire life.  I was always the fat friend.  I was the girl who would tag along at the mall, but would never buy anything because nothing fit.  If I could find something that fit, it was matronly, unflattering, and probably resembled something your great aunt Hilda would wear.  (No offense to the great aunt Hildas out there; it’s just not the look I was going for when I was 14.)  Now when I walk into a clothing store, they almost always have larger sizes.  In cute styles too!  Where was this stuff 20 years ago?  Having clothes that suit you as an individual is a great source of confidence.  I remember when I found Torrid.  I thought “Oh great, another plus size store that will probably cut everything to fit like a potato sack.”  I was so glad when they proved me wrong.

So I guess the moral of this story is to remember to stay positive.  And remember: whatever you are going through, it isn’t the end of the world.

Until next time….

cheers 😉

 

 

 

Perfect

Sometimes its all I can do to get out of bed.  Sometimes I can clean the entire house in one day.  Here’s what I did today:

I woke up at 9 am and had my coffee & yogurt with berries.  I watched the news & texted my husband good morning (he’s away on business this week).  I sat in bed until noon watching tv and browsing the internet.  Then I heated up my lunch in the microwave and unloaded the dishwasher while I waited.  I washed some pans and knives that are hand wash only.  Then I ate my lunch, which consisted of baked sweet potatoes, steamed broccoli, and 3 oz of ground turkey.  I then convinced myself to caulk some nail holes in the baseboards upstairs.  I have been putting this off for weeks.  Actually, months.  I hate caulking; its messy and I am too much of a perfectionist to be happy with less than perfect results.  So I choose to put off these types of tasks until I can muster up the courage to try.  It took me about 15 minutes to get all of the nail holes filled.  After I finished, I couldn’t understand what took me so long to get the job done in the first place.

The answer is: me.  I’m the reason why it took so long.  I couldn’t get started because of my own fears.  I knew the outcome wouldn’t be perfect, so I didn’t even want to try.  I recognize this is silly; no one is perfect.  So why should I expect perfection from myself?  Maybe one day I will learn to care less and accept myself, flaws and all.  Maybe today was a step in the right direction.  

After finishing up my little project for the day, it was time to go to work.  I couldn’t bring myself to caulk the gaps in the baseboards today, so maybe I will get to those later this week 🙂

Until next time….

Cheers 😉

Avoidance.

When faced with a problem, whether made up or otherwise, my first instinct is to shut down.  I want to get in bed and hide under the covers.  I want to sleep all day, mindlessly surf the internet in between naps, and stare at the TV for hours until its time to go back to bed.  When I was younger, I would pretend to be sick so I could stay home from school.  (This tactic wasn’t always successful since my mom was a nurse.)  Once I could drive myself to school, I would skip school to avoid things like class presentations or not having anyone to eat lunch with.  Instead of dealing with whatever is bothering me, I just avoid the issue all together.  

As you can probably guess, after 20+ years of avoidance, I don’t have a lot of other strategies for resolving these types of problems.  Instead of shutting down, my goal is to be more mindful of my actions, thoughts, and perceptions going forward.  There is no point in beating myself up for things that happened in the past. Instead,  I can choose to learn from those mistakes.  Plus, owning up to my past failures feels surprisingly liberating.  For the first time, I am being completely honest with myself.

I say all of this knowing there will be days that I slip up.  I’m not perfect.  But now I am formally acknowledging my pattern of avoidance.  I am very aware that this is a problem for me, and my coping skill of choice isn’t doing me any favors .  I feel like this realization is half of the battle.  Winning the battle will come next.

Until next time,

Cheers… 😉

Struggling.

I thought I was better.

Its been a few weeks since I’ve seen my therapist.  When I scheduled my appointment, I honestly thought about canceling the session because things have been going so well.  I had been losing weight and exercising, doing things far out of my comfort zone, and feeling more confident about myself.

This week must be a sign that I should keep my upcoming appointment.  I am struggling at work, and actually fear losing my job.  I have not been sleeping well or eating well, and I haven’t had the energy to exercise.  I even canceled walking with my walking buddy this week because I was so exhausted.  Everything feels out of control.  My first reaction is to eat a bunch of junk food and sleep all day.  I know that will only make things worse.

Just in case, I started looking for jobs and it just made me even more sad.  I don’t want to find a new job.  I love my schedule and the fact that I can work remotely.  Plus, all of the jobs posted were the same: either very low pay or required driving into the city, which I hate.  I don’t feel like what I’m doing now is my dream job, so maybe this is a sign I need to start over. I have no idea what else I would like to do.  And that makes me sad too.

Here’s hoping tomorrow will be better.

Until next time….